Herts Hash Virtual Hash No.21
On the hour & the Hare wasn’t feeling too enthusiastic at the turn out as he said “Well it looks like we only have you two at the moment, hopefully we'll get a few more?” to Canary Boy & Rustler. Canary Boy replies with “Hopefully 🤔😳” & Rustler with “Give it some time?” Mr X then added that if no one else turns up we’ll all go straight to the virtual Pub?? An excited Canary Boy replied “On it 👣🍺🍺🍺” while Rustler lets slip “Pub sounds good!”
The Hare then wonders “Perhaps they have all gone to the 'packed seaside'??” then he added “It'll be a long day if we only have you two Hounds today!” Rustler then let the other two know “We going this arvo! West wittering beach” So, the Hare offers up to her a “Good luck, I was near the coast this week, it was mad in places as there was a huge crowd form Croydon who had bus loads at a Cook Out!
Canary Boy adds “It’s warmer inland!” & the Hare agrees “Yes, by a lot, no sea breeze up here!, It was down to 18 at night, so not too bad.”
The Hope spring’s eternal as the Hare notices “We have mother appearing as being active, we have three!” as Mother joins with a “Morning!” Canary Boy adds “Lemming might follow!” [Is that the Hash or the Pub? – Ed]
So, the Hare syas “Ok, we'll go for it as this will be the last virtual Hash!”
Here we go again, if we were in Wales we could meet up in groups of up to 30, but alas we are not in the green valleys instead we are now behind the Principality by a week or two? While Wee Jimmy Crankie is closing Pubs as Aberdeen has had an outbreak, poor Wanktlers & you canee blame Thaines’ Chilli Pies!
Mother then adds “We've just come back from Wales, only saw sheep!” to which the hare replied “And?” then he added “I got back from the Romney Marsh so Ditto with Sheep!” [It seems that everyone was at or going to the coast this weekend! – Ed] Rustler adds “Sheep sound fun!” which will be fuel for Lemming later.
Anyhow, here we go, welcome to Herts Virtual Hash No. 21! [Pleeeaaaseeee be the last ! – Ed]
So, again we start from outside of a Ye Olde Monken Holt Pub with an olde worlde name but his incarnation doesn’t looks as old as the name suggests? Time to start as My Lil’ can be heard tapping at his watch ⌚
It’s a short Trail today, as its humid out there & the Hare is in a benevolent mood for My Lil’ this week as he has set arrows away from the Pub & not a Check, heading away to the south the Keenies for 30 Yards along the shop front on old High Street road, then arrows direct the FRBs, well all of the Pack off to the west through a gap between two of the businesses then due north on a narrow Fire Station alleyway with a connection to one of the Emergency services but some 40 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ yards up this enclosed route a Bar Check is found!
The Late arriving Lemming has a cheery “Morning All!” as Canary Boy points out “Morning, your late!”
A nasty start from a naughty Hare & so Mother, Rustler & Canary Boy make their way back from Fire Station Alley to find the Hare & the late arriving Lemming on their way south bound down the High Street for some 40 Yards before the Trail turns off on to a westerly footpath of Nursery Row, another alleyway for the Pack to Run but this one has no Bar Check, & after 60 yards 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ the Hash emerge out on to the A1081 St Albans a road 🚗 that leads for this town to another old Herts town St Albans away in the northwest.
Arrows point the way to the nor-nor-west along this busy 🚗 old main the A1081 St Albans road, after 15 Yards the FRBs arrive at a Check by an alleyway off to the North, the options are to search this northern alleyway, or continue along the main road out of town?
Lemming tells the pack “Had to take the sheep home!” which gets a “Baaastard!” as the first of the Sheep Jokes! Lemming now claims to have “Just done missionary work in North Wales!” Then continues with “Rutland next!” a choking Canary Boy retorts with a “Ha! Ha! 😳” The Hare asks Lemming “Dry County was it?” Mother replied to the Hare “£3 a pint!” that Lemming echoes “£3 a pint!” Canary Boy reckons that that was a bargain!
No joy for Canary Boy to the nor-nor-west as he is stopped by a T just before a Pub (Richard II heraldic emblem) White Hart, so its due north with Mother & Lemming & the late arriving Fliptop on Christ Church Passageway! To the right a lot of old Army 🎖️ trucks in the Barnet Army Reserve Centre can be seen before the path is enclosed by fences & trees 🌳 🌳 on either side & after 100 Yards 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ the Pack arrive at an Elbow in an old Christ Church lane & the Path, here a Check is found, the options are carry on Due North, or take to the eastern Christ Church Lane that is a service road to the garage behind the line of large detached homes 🏡 🏡 on its norther edge.
Having caught up Fliptop speaks up with “Morning all trying to catch up, please mark all the checks?” The Hare adds “Checks marked or just scroll up the conversation!”
No joy off to the east for Lemming, just a T after some 30 Yards! So, it’s back to find Mother has called “On!” 🙋♀️ away to the North, then after 30m yards this path comes out on to a residential backstreet of Hadley Grove a commuter area, no Check at this crossroads, just arrows directing everyone to the west down a dead-end cul-de-sac. It may not look like the right way back after 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ 40 Yards the arrow point the way across the front of the entrance to a Christ Church ⛪, there at the edge is a gate & the arrows point under this.
Having opened the gate Mother finds herself on another alleyway & called “On!” 🙋♀️ as this leads some 20 yards back out to the main nor-nor-west A1081 St Albans road! Arrows point the way away from town, it’s a 90 Yards of running 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ by the traffic to reach a Check by a dead-end side road off to the east, your choices are to search this urban side-road, or carry on nor-nor-west, or cross over to search beyond the Lytch-gate to a Churchyard⛪ over on the western side of the road Sunset View 🚗?
Suddenly there is an outbreak as Personalised emojis appear out of nowhere from Mother as Fliptop goes to “Cross the road when I get there...” Having weaved through the traffic Fliptop is disappointed to find that there is no Trail on that side, so they’ll have to carefully & cross back over, Lemming, Mother & Canary Boy fail as well as they too find a T!
Then Mother posts an emoji that appears to be “Giving the Harte the finger eh?” Fliptop thinks “That's plain rude...😃” AS Canary Boy adds “That told yer!” Mother replied “That outfit is quite hot!” Fliptop warns Mother “Obviously likes a Down-Down of cold packet soup etc?”
Looking back & the Hare has marked the Trail down the Sunset View side street & after 80 Yards the road ends with the Trail passing through a cut-through to a footpath running for north to south at the bottom of the road. A check here has two options, south in a direction back for where the Pack have been, or north out in to greenbelt land?
Fliptop makes a choice “Sheep like I follow northward!” Mother replied to Fliptop “Bah!” & Lemming corrects her with “Baa!” Fliptop also has a go with “Bleet!” which leaves Canary Boy wondering “Not more sheep! I thought you took them home?” Then Lemming only adds fuel to the flames with “Only the special one. Love is special!”
Mother post now posts her emoji riding a sheep, right at its rear which leads the Hare to scream “Noooooo!” Lemming says to the Hare “You tell her!” as Mr X adds “If that was Lemming it would look so wrong!” It would look like a Lemming having t away with a sheep! Then the conversation gets worse as Lemming is asked “Is it an inflatable one?” Lemming ends the conversation with “You can't beat the real thing I find. Baa!”
Having been prevented from going wrong to the south, Mother joins the rest of the flock as the Green belt search pays off for as they bleat “On!” 🙋♂️ from the end of the northern part of the Christ Church path, the footpath now turns to the northeast as it runs 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ along behind the large gardens of the desirable homes to the east & a Old Fold Manor Golf Course ⛳ to the west, the Pack have to shift as there is a warning sign about flying gold balls (in case TBT OBE slices his shot? 🏌️♂️ “Four!”) so the pace picks up for 110 yards 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ until the relative safety of a set of allotments 🥕 🍅 🥒 🥬 appear on the west!
The path makes its way for around 20 feet through a wooded are to come out on to an area of common land, a nice green space with trees dotted about this green space. The Trail continues northward beyond a duck pond 🦆 & up the entrance to the Golf Club ⛳ but before reaching this there is a Check, the options are to continue northward toward the Gate house of the Club, or search westward out over the fairways?
Mother & Canary Boy go wrong out over the links, while Lemming picks up Trail by this is an impressive gated manor house looking building to Old Fold Manor. As The Pack run on by the gates on an old C-shaped drive entrance then after surrounded by houses in a small group, after 20 yards 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ from the Old Fold Manor Golf Club the Trail turns right to head eastward on a slightly bowed road 🚗 out to a wider ancient old Great North Road main road, & the Pack are directed by arrows directly across to the eastside of this northern road.
Here there is a Check & you are left with two options, North toward a Battle of Barnet Monument on the tip of a triangular green or
No joy for Lemming, Mother who was battling away to the War of the Roses monument ⚔️ for Red & White blooms 🌼🌼 House of Lancashire & the House of York before being cut down by a T! Calls of “On!” from Canary Boy 🙋♂️ echo back from the south as picks up the Trail & follows it 60 yards down to peel off on to the an old south-easterly Drury Road lane off of the main road to run down through an area that appears to be a village 🏡 in its own right?
After 115 Yards 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ along the top of another triangular section of Hadley Green common land, the Trail now comes around to the east as the road narrows & the small village like area that even has open white gates on either side of the road at both ends, something to do with keeping out Lemming’s Sheep 🐑 🐏or other grazing livestock on the common?
Lemming’s conversation now becomes obsessed with Sheep, especially inflatable ones & how they are ‘Pumped up’, Love is in the air!” says Lemming.
Anyhow, as the road bends the Keenies of Canary Boy & Lemming are caught out by another Bar Check before the second set of gates, they run back (being so fit) & find that the Hare has now marked the Trail off through the grounds of the local Norman Church ⛪, on a footpath that runs between this & the Church House to lead some 40 yards out to the edge of another area of common land & directly across the road is a Monken Hadley Cricket 🏏 Club.
Arrows direct the Pack over the western corner of the green, here there is a Check from where there are three major options, head north-eastward up by one road out of the village, or head straight over the Cricket 🏏 pitch (avoiding the wicket) & in to an expanse of Bournewell Hill woodland 🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳behind this, or search the south-eastern road out of the village?
Mother’s emoji now appear to be padded up in Cricket gear, as she & Lemming find 🙋♀️ 🙋♂️ Dust as it leads into the area of dense broadleaf woodland, the shade is welcome as the Trail leads around a footpath in this well walked & well used wood. But the Trail begins to descend the wooded 🌳🌳🌳hillside, after about 50 yards the Trail crosses a brook, which is pretty dry, the Keenies now begin a nice long trot of 400 Yards 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ up & along the northern edge of the woodland, this long run stops at a Check by an alleyway out in to an estate of nice homes 🏡 🏡 to the north.
The Hare now wonders “How many emojis have you got mother?” Seems the answer is “Plenty to annoy you!”
There are three options now, head out of the shade in to the Hadley Wood estate, stick with the edge of the wood 🌳🌳🌳🌳in an easterly direction toward a main Kings Cross Railway line 🚆, or head due south back through the centre of the wooded 🌳🌳🌳🌳 expanse?
Canary Boy finds a T out over toward the railway 🚆, but Down to the south calls of “On!” 🙋♀️ 🙋♂️ come from Mother & Lemming who is following the Trail downhill, back over the brook, this time by way of a wooden bridge & after 200 Yards t🏃♂️ 🏃♀️t he Trail arrives at a crossroads with the main footpath that cuts through the centre of the Hadley Wood Common woodland 🌳🌳🌳from east to west.
Here there is a Check that presents three options, east toward the Railway, south through the ‘Spinney’ toward an old Bakers Hill lane or west back toward the Cricket 🏏 Ground?
Mother is now concerned as she wonders has Rustler got lost? And Fliptop! The Hare does add that it is dense woodland 🌳🌳🐑🌳🌳 Canary Boy adds 👻
The Trail is not going to visit a Train 🚆 line this week as a deflated Mother is called back 🙋♂️ by Lemming who has picked up Dust way to the west, Canary Boy is also on his way back from the other Falsie the road begins to turn slightly toward the north as the lane rises gently up, the Pack run for about 100 yards until reaching a Check by an almost hidden footpath behind a large overhanging tree 🌳, there is a Check by the tree. So, the choices are search further up the lane, or head off through the wrought-iron gate for a path that leads on between two walled of properties 🏡 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ 🏡
One notable resident was a bit of a Goon, 🤡 one Terrance ‘Spike’ Milligan’ the locals were trying to get an erection in his honour [yes I put that in for Pebbledash! – Ed] Further down the road you’d have to be ‘game for a laugh’ to have paid one resident a visit a few years ago, when Jeremy Beadle lived there!
The shaded path 🌳🌳🌳 🌳now emerges after some 60 yards into the corner of an open park space, the Trail continues southward for another 100 yards to come out by the pavilion in the sports field ⚽ south to take to Tudor Road named after the amalgamation of the previous warring War of the Roses dynasties. The Trail does not veer off on to the couple of side roads or the turn on to two larger crossroads, it continues in the heat of the open for 280 Yards 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ until reaching the third of the crossroads from North to south, a Check is set here on Clifford Road as this one could be named in Lemmings 🐭 honour? Those with Keen eyes may have noticed that all of the roads in this area have 🛡️ medieval dynastic names? Lemming claims “I did notice!” but is swiftly rebuked by Mother who replied to Lemming “Fibber!”
Bald heads 👨🦲 suffers out in the sun ☀️searching the back streets. There are three options are to search the other three cardinal points of the compass, north, east or south? 🧭 “Keep hydrated!” warns Mother
T’s are found to the south by Mother & Lemming 🙋♀️ 🙋♂️ so to the east it is as Canary Boy leads the Keenies, well all of the Pack who aren’t lost like Fliptop & Rustler in the wood🌳🌳🌳, head off to run around into a Tudor sports ground ⛳ , ⚽ running along the outside northern edge of local allotments some of which are abundant with veg & fruit 🥕 🍅 🥒 🥬, arrows turn the Pack to the south after 105 Yards to take a dog-leg footpath that eventually heads southward for another 100 Yards, then the pack are turned again to run westward all the 120 yards along the bottom of the allotments & back on to Lemmings road 🐀 .
Lemming says “Nice road!” after seeing Clifford Road as Mother bemoans “Too much tarmac!”
Fliptop is another who has issues, but not with road surface but the fact he has “Very slow internet where I am. Mind you everything is slow in Norfolk... that’s normal😃” he also adds “Think I might have played cricket here?” then “Its cloudy and cold 17 degrees on North Norfolk coast!” which makes Mother laugh! The Hare adds “At least the Pubs are open, unlike parts of Scotlandshire!”
After a further 100 yards westward on the red hot tarmac that Mother moans about, then to turn north on a road Elizabeth Woodville named after a Queen 👑 who’s daughter’s Elizabeth of York marriage to Henry VII ended a long war, then after 10 yards arrows point the way for another battle in the heat to the west for 225 yards 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ to a Check, here the options are North up a cut-through to another back street of Bosworth Road or west to the end of homes 🏠 🏠 on the dead-end of the street.
Lemming is now concerned that “Canary Boy is panting but am unsure why?” Mr X replies “Woof! Does he have a wet nose?” Lemming adds “His friend does!” before Canary Boy then declares “You’re getting me too excited!”
Only a T is found by Mother & Canary Boy then Fliptop, the later having now caught back up with the Pack, up on the next urban street 🏠 🏠, but things are far better for Lemming who locates Dust to the west & makes their way out on to the edge of the hilly fields that are one of the 471 named in honour of a King 👑 George V, here Lemming is quickly on to the next Check which wasn’t far away.
The choices are to head nor-nor-west along the tree-line🌳🌳🌳, to look nor-nor-east back up toward the village or search down to the west?
A panicking Lemming asks “RA I hope the punishment will fit the crime Indeed!” Mr X adds “All of this will be recorded for future circle!” Lemming finishes with “No respect RA!” as he tries to dob Mother in!
The Hare marks the Check so Rustler can catch up when she finds the Trail again! No joy for Mother & Canary Boy down in the west [Not another two going missing? – Ed], no Dust is picked up to the northeast by Lemming but calls of “On!“ from Fliptop 🙋♂️ has the Pack starting a long sweaty 200 yards up hill 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️, leading between two sections of woodland 🌳 🌳 on the hillside.
Out from between the trees to an open space & a held Check is found as the Pack are almost on the level of the plateau, so it’s time for sweets!! 🙋♀️ 🙋♂️ 🍭🍬 🍭🍬 🍭🍬 Canary Boy 🍭🍬🍫
Rustler arrives at the sweets top, her excuse for going missing is “Just doing some crochet!” while a relived Canary Boy aks Rustler “You’re back! Did you get lost?” The Hare adds BALLS 🧶🧶 of wool as Mother then makes sure things go Back to sheep then?
Now Rustler has rejoined, complete with crochet? It time to restart & the options are southwest downhill through wood, or northwest up the more gentle rise up hill in a direction back toward the On Inn?
While the boys of go wrong, its Uphill with Mother is but the Pack now struggle the last 400 yards 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️, over the dry brown grassy 🌾 🌾 🌾 top to come out up through a small park at the northern end of King George Fields. No Check on the side road, it’s far too hot ☀️for a long Trail 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ & the Hare is now in a pretty benevolent mood as arrows point the way south-westward along the narrow side that encapsulates the southern elongated section of Hadley Green common. Mother is impressed as she adds “Lot of long words there😃”
The On Inn is found as the Trail now heads back toward the Ye Olde Monken Holt Pub, the housing now changes from a few nice large detached properties on the southern side to a more urban landscape of homes 🏘️🌳 🌳 & shops 🏬 Where have you been Hashing today??
Mother - Um ? Lemming - No Idea - Mother Give us a clue Its probably a bit hard for some, we haven't Hashed here for ages, but used to be a spot for Windmills & Its rhyming slang for something that Lemming, Canary Boy & Fliptop don't have anymore! Mother Barnet? Barnet Fair = Hair!
St Albans Road
Battle of Barnet (Wars of the Roses) Memorial
Old Fold Manor Golf Club
Monken Hadley (Village)
Monken Hadley Common
Kings Cross Mainline
Spike Milligan’s House
Jeremy Beadles home
Tudor Road Sports Ground
(Elizabeth) Woodville Road
King George V fields
Ye Olde Monken Halt