Herts Hash Virtual Hash No.9

Flanders So have I! So might be a tad late can't run with a full glass in hand. Oh forgot I can't run anyway.🤣

Fliptop remarks "Looks like a small pack tonight. Hopefully we'll get some late comers?"

The adds "Small but perfectly formed?"  No Eye Deer replied "Thank you!" No Eye Deer adds "Probably having trouble parking?"

Fliptop "Circle up everyone.... Welcome to Herts Hash house Harriers virtual run No8. Would the hare please step into the circle and tells what tonight's trail holds?"

"Oops Fliptop, error No.1!  Its Week nine & we are gathered again on a Monday evening, hope you are all well?" says the Hare

Fliptop Groundhog day Thank you Bill Murray! Today's Trail will be pretty much scooter 🛴 friendly, so good news for Flying Solo!

Flying Solo adds an excited "Yay!"

The Hare continues with his spiel "We start from outside of a Mermaid Pub on a fairly busy Hatfield road, street parking is the order of the day & we have a benevolent Hare tonight as he doesnít have a Check right outside of the Pub, this would placate My Lilí, if he was partaking today!"

Anyhow, the Pack are led away eastward down Hatfield Road through an area of education Loreto College for about 150 Yards, crossing over a crossroad junction 🚦 to the northern side of the continuing eastbound section of road, Kylie can have an early thrill as the Hash now go over the road bridge spanning a railway line 🚆 below, the locals affectionately call the Bedpan line to make it sound like something a hospital 🏥 patient may require!

A late start for Wanktlers "I'll have to join you later, still waiting for the First Minister to let us out!"  The Hare adds "She is going to say Scotlandshire will be doing what Englandshire is doing now! " Anyhow, after a long urban start, just over the bridge a pair of arrows point you all down a set of steps in to a Clarence Park 🌼🌼, there in this south-western corner is the first Check point of the Trail, your options are northward, north east toward the centre of the park or southeast along the boundary of this green space, time to make your choice.

Flying Solo says "Northeast & That was from Elizabeth!"

Falsie to the north for No Eye Deer & another to the northeast for Fliptop & Flying Solo while Milf & Ewok fares far better South-eastward on the tarmac path in to the small sparsely populated  wooded area, there by an old Victorian Fountain arrows point you on to a northbound tarmac footpath up between the green park at the T junction where the Trail joins another tarmac path is the next Check point near to a pavilion.

Milf On on 🏃🏃

Your options are to head north-westward toward the St Albans City FC Football pitch, or south-westward down toward a red brick 🧱 🏠 house near to a main entrance on Clarence road, time to choose?

No Eye Deer replied "It's lonely going north by myself!" Flying Solo enquires from No Eye Deer "Elizabeth wants to know where "no eye deer" came from? No Eye Deer simply replied to Flying Solo "No idea!"

Nothing is found by toward the St Albans City Football Club by No Eye Deer where the local team who at one time wore the same coloured kit as the Brazilian 🇧🇷 National Team, but have since reverted to their traditional reverse colours of a well-known flag St Albans Saltaire

The Trail is found by Flying Solo, Milf & Ewok 🙋♂🏃♀ 🏃♀️down toward the red brick building & the entrance but arrows point  north-eastward on the interior tarmac path around the boundary of the fenced-in park, here the way is tree-lined offering some shade as you run on by Tennis Courts 🎾 which you can now play but only one person can touch their Balls🤏!  Now itís on a long gently arcing route around to due north, at the north end of the Park 🌼🌼 the Pack are led out of a smaller gate & on to a suburban commuter street of York Road lined with nice homes 🏡only on the northern side, arrows now point eastward & just a few yards later you are on to the wider Clarence road, here there is a Check.

Now faced with three option, north, east or south Ė all of the routes are populated with nice homes.  Milf "On! On" 🏃🏃️ Flying Solo "Well d'oh!"

To the south Ewok finds a T, over to the east Fliptop fails again, as does Milf this time & donít find any markings & so is called back when the Trail is picked up by No Eye Deer, Elizabeth & Flying Solo behind a Red Pillar Box 🙋♀ 🙋♀ 🙋♀📮just on the corner of a dead-end side Gainsborough Avenue road to the west, here the Trail turns to run one hundred yard before taking to a northbound uncapped cut-through of Blenheim Road for a few yards to emerge out on to a another back street🏡 of Jennings Road.  A Check here presents the Keenies  with three options, eastward toward a dead End, northward or eastward

Flying Solo says "Let's brave the dead-end!" Ewok adds "Iíll brave it will you!"  While No Eye Deer is Checking

Fliptop goes awry once more, but The Girls are on form away to the west as Flying Solo & Elizabeth call ďOn!Ē 🙋♀🙋♀️ to lead 🏃♀️the way to the dead-end of Jennings Road, there a short alleyway 🚳 where the Trail comes on to a narrow footbridge to taking the Hash back over the Bedpan railway 🚆 all of which excites again Kylie to no end [Watch it Pebbledash Ė Ed]  out on the Lemsford road & there a Check is found.

Options are north, south or west, well each option being just a few degrees off of a due cardinal course

Fliptop "Go West young man.. who said that??" Milf replied wrongly wonders "Village People?"  Fliptop is closer as he says "I thought it came from some old western??? I really  don't  know!"  It comes from the USA - "Washington is not a place to live in. The rents are high, the food is bad, the dust is disgusting and the morals are deplorable. Go West, young man, go West and grow up with the country.ó attributed to Horace Greeley, New-York Daily Tribune, July 13, 1865

Ewok is now flummoxed as she asks "I donít know what due cardinal means... " No Eye Deer replied to Ewok "Glad you asked. What does it mean?"

To the northwest on Avenue Road Milf & Ewok find nothing, as Ewok grapples with the four cardinal points of the compass, these being North, East, South & West, to the west another T is found by Fliptop while the southern option on Lemsford Road is picked up by Flying Solo & Elizabeth proves to be the route for the Keenies to take, now arrows take them across to the west side of the street & then off down a westward dead-end street of Althorp Road a mix of old builds & 1970ís 🏘️ looking properties, a slight turn to the right & a few steps take the Hash up a back passage 🚳 [Steady Pebbledash! - Ed] between the properties before emerging out on to a Check on Hillside Road, here the choices are just two, north or south?

Fliptop calls out "Any one on?" Flying Solo does a commentators' curse as she declares "Elizabeth is spot on so far She now says north!"

Flying Solo & Elizabeth finally go wrong to the north! Southbound may appear to take the Hash back, but it is the correct option as Ewok finds arrows & Fliptop breaks his duck on a route that leads up to another back passage this is not a straight route, it turns slightly before it come south through a school yard 🏫.  No Check at the end of the path, just arrows pointing the way to the northwest on a residential street of Townsend Avenue, as the Trail almost reaches the end of the street the arrows direct the Hash through a Townsend Avenue car park 🅿️to head northward & emerge out then around on to a normally busy junction of the A1081 & the B651.

The Pack easily cross this to nip over to the front of an Indian Restaurant 👳♂️, beside which the Trail takes to an Snatchup Alley alleyway with a name that would have Pebbledash losing it, Tent Packer was pictured a few years ago against the signage ,this north-eastern passage take the Hash behind a Merry Business, the booze hounds 🦮🍺 think they can sniff out beer, but the Jolly Sailor Pub they are behind is still closed!

After 100 Yards the Pack emerge from the rude sounding Alley to merge on to a main north-easterly Sandridge road right by a reservoir to the northwest, after a couple of hundred yards the Pack come on to the southern tip of a Bernard's Heath common here the next Check is found.  You can search anywhere within a 90 degree range from the north-western tarmac path along one edge of the green to the north-eastern road at the other.  The obvious options are to stick with the tarmac path to the arcing broadleaf 🌳🌳🌳🌳tree-line to the northwest, the noticeable gap in the tree-line 🌳🌳   🌳🌳due north, or stay with the road?

Ewok goes wrong to the north with Fliptop, who is getting predictable now, but Flying Solo & Elizabeth get their mojo back & find the Trail to o the north-western end & in to the woodland, here the Pack follow a meandering desireĖline around the trees, there are a couple of interesting large open concrete rings built during World War II to hold water for the fire brigade, with nothing in them in amongst the trees, time to battle on It is the site of the Second Battle of St Albans in the 1461 War of the roses, where Lancastrian Forces outflanked the Earl of Warwick (The King Maker) -  There is also an Air raid shelter beneath the Heath.

A Check is found in the centre of the woodland, the options now are north, westward toward a road or southward/  No Eye Deer chooses North....again, while Fliptop opts for South .. hopefully

Northward once more dear friends as No Eye Deer now leads the way through more of the woodland 🌲🌲🌲 calling back Ewok, Milf & Fliptop & on by the entrance to a fire station 🚒. There is a connection with this & the concrete rings!  Then on through more woodland 🌲🌲🌲 before being brought out on to the main Harpenden road, here arrows direct the way over to the western side of the road & on to a footpath up into on a broadleaf wooded 🌳🌳🌳🌳rampart, could this be some kind of fortification?  The Beech Bottom Dyke probably constructed by hand between 5 & 40 AD by the powerful Celtic tribe established in this area, the Catuvellauni, probably by King Cunobelinus to define areas of land around their tribal centre at Verlamion (Later named Verulamium by the Romans)

The Hare adds "Luckily Pebbledash isn't here as she'd ask if I had spelt Fornication wrong?"

A run back to the south, just a few degrees to the west of being due south, leads the pack on 400 Yards to emerge from the Bernards Heath wood 🌳🌳🌳🌳 & on to a Check at the junction where an uncapped lane meets the northern elbow of a tarmac street, the options are northwest on the dusty dry uncapped lane, or tarmac road to the southeast or the southwest, the choice is yours? 

Flying Solo choice is whittled down to the Tarmac to southeast because it is scooter friendly😃!  Nothing is found by on the dusty old Townsend Drive lane by Ewok & No Eye Deer, whereas Milf fares better to the southwest, leaving Flying Solo & Elizabeth 🛴 & Fliptop to be called back (AGAIN) as the Trail runs down by a Townsend tennis club 🎾 on Waverly Road where arrows point the away over to the eastern side then off down a side street of Palfrey Close to the southeast some 200 yards down this street where Milf finds a Bar Check & have to come back to see the likes Ewok & No Eye Deer of disappearing down the alleyway as the Hare has now marked as the Trail.

Perhaps that's the way to get a better husband?? asks Flanders, what was the question? - Ed, Milf replied to Fliptop, who set the question Perhaps that's the way to get a better husband?? she adds "UPGRADE 😜!" while No Eye Deer aks Fliptop "Is sis reading this. Might give her ideas 🤣?"

Back to reality (well almost!) as Milf calls "On back 🏃️"

Through the double steel 🚳 anti-cycling Bars to teak follow the path, itís not a straight route as the path turns from southwest to south for 50 yards then itís out on to a back street🏠🏠🏠 of Carlisle Avenue, the Hare is generous & does not put a Check in, rather there are two arrows pointing the way  Sludge is suspicious that this is a trick, but Ewok & No Eye Deer call ďOn!Ē 🙋♀🙋♀️ as the Trail continues southward on the continuation of the alleyway this is short than the first, but it does have a kink in it as well, this being a few degrees to the west from due south.

Ewok is excited & lets out a "Ooo - me and No Eye Dear down an alley together 🤪!"

Now there is a Check Point as the Pack come out on to a street of terraced homes🏠🏠🏠, you choices are now northwest, southeast or southwest, as Bucks Fizz sang (It is a virtual Eurovision 🇪🇺 Weekend this weekend 🤢!), itís making your mind up time!

3D has Just caught up!  Fliptop welcomes here with a "Well done 3D you must have been running very fast!"  No Eye Deer adds "We are all so much fitter since lockdown....!!"

Flying Solo & Elizabeth find nothing to the northwest, nor is any Trail seen by Fliptop to the southeast, He ought to invest in a guide dog 🐕 ! At least 3D has caught up now after a let start.  It is down to Milf & Ewok find Tail on another street of terraced homes 🏠🏠🏠, but at least its slightly downhill to reach a large junction with four options, the easy route back toward the On Inn  is to the southeast, do you take that?  Or do you risk the North-eastern streets, you could always plump for the southern option across the junction, then finally there is the south-western option?

A late arriving Wanktlers breathlessly states "Phew, made it at last.  Wh'appen? Did I miss anything?"  The Hare fills him in "Only Fliptop going wrong time after time!"  No Eye Deer replied to Wanktlers "Should you be out?  Wanktlers "Sorry distracted again, The Sensational Alex Harvey Band on the radio!"  Fliptop asks if they were playing Delilah, Wanktlers replies with "The Faith Healer"

3D "On on I think?" but that is stopped by Milf asking Doughnuts anyone? 😀 No Eye Deer replied to Milf As I said...."so much fitter or did I mean fatter 😶?"

Ewok 😮 spills the beans when she confesses "Never had a Krispy Kreme.... the name puts me off!" Mr X reckons "Bet Pebbledash has had one!"

Tís are found by Fliptop & also found by to the Northeast as well by No Eye Deer but to the south Milf fares well & the Trail is picked up 🏃♀️ down another terraced street🏠🏠🏠, albeit a short one before arrows point the way around to the west to reach a Check by an alleyway off down to the south, do you take the alleyway option, or are you like Sludge a doubting Thomas 🤔 in thinking itís a rouse & carry on along the street?

No Eye Deer now stops as she says "I'll wait!" while Fliptop barks out "No hanging on the check!"  No Eye Deer replied to Fliptop "Laces have come undone!" Milf warns No Eye Deer to Be carful

No Redemption for Fliptop, itís getting just like a real Hash for him as he goes wrong!  Flying Solo & Elizabeth should learn not to follow Fliptop!  Milf & Ewok donít doubt the Hare as the alleyway it is as & itís a long trot with a red brick wall 🧱 to the right & fenced off back gardens to the left, a break from the wall as there is a gap with a set of steps down in to a Gombards car park🅿️, but arrows lead you on by this to follow the rest of the path, which is now lined by trees 🌲🌲🌲 on either side as you come down on to the bend in a main Veralum road, the Trail continues southbound taking you over the entrance of one back street Spenser Street, then after a couple of yards another off to the east, the arrows are beyond the start of this & southward it continues.

Milf On on 🏃

The eagle eyed notice a unique St Albans Parish WWI memorial ️ set in the wall before being led over an nearby crossing & then westward down an olde world street Lower Dagnall Street with terraced homes & not so scooter friendly 🛴 cobbles, these arenít too good for Hash feet 🦶 either as the road drops down beyond one dead end street to the south & then turning southward on the next Spicer street of terraced homes 🏠🏠🏠.

After 80 Yards you reach the end of the Spicer street & are pointed over the road to find a Check on the north-eastern tip of a triangular green Romelands Hill Garden of Rest, once famed for a public burning from way back in the days when Catholics & Protestants took turns in setting each other alight 🔥 in Tudor Times.

Your choices are eastward up another cobbled street, this one having shops along it, continuing southward on to a green area with a large religious building of Saintly proportions St Albans Abbey Cathedral & down a hillside to a venue that Pebbledash would like 🐓 🐓 or westward on what would possibly be the most unattractive of all options?

Ewok now states "Iím all thumbs!!" [Luckily Pebbledash isn't here! - Ed] Wanktlers chooses "Saint Jack for me!"  while No Eye Deer is attracted by the Shops!

Milf has other pressing issues "I need a wee stop ✋!" 3D asks "Can I come too!"  Wanktlers enquires "Why do you need a little stop?"  Milf "Weeeeeeee!"

No Eye Deer being a realist points out that "Public toilets are all closed. Will need to clench!"  Milf  adds "No problem!" 3D finishes with "Might have a pad in me bra!" Wanktlers is stunned with "No ye cannae!"

Ewok finds no Trail, neither does No Eye Deer by the shops, Southward the Pack now move as Fliptop finally gets it correct & calls ďOn!Ē toward an old gatehouse, but before reaching this the Trail turns eastward to run along the northern transept of the religious building that the Saintly (Wanktlers & Milf?) amongst you will recognise to run on to the Next Check out by a walled Vintry garden 🧱 🌼 🌼 🌼, here we have the Sweet Stop by a large Verdun Horse Chestnut 🍭🍬🍭🍬 grown from a conker brought back for the last tree standing on the First World War Battlefield

3D "Yay!" Flying Solo ads "Hooray!" Milf "Yippeeeee!" Ewok then makes up for Pebbledashes absence by declaring "I need something to suck on, Iím parched!"

As Wanktlers deals with "Crossing me legs now!" there is a pause as the Hare disappears & after a hiatus he returns with an apology of "Sorry about that, just took in a Hermes delivery (Where's Pebbledash?)

Resuming the Trail the options are north-eastward up a stone slabbed route through an olde worlde shopping area, south-eastward through the gate to the walled Vintry garden 🧱 🌼 🌼 🌼?  Make up your mind up

A falsie is found on the opposite side of the walled Vintry garden 🧱 🌼 🌼 🌼 by Ewok, Milf, Wanktlers, Flying Solo & Elizabeth, so its back up to follow Fliptop & No Eye Deer as they lead the rest 🏃 🏃♀️out by the small old shopping arcade to emerge from a small back passage & out on to the edge of a major cross roads with the High Street & Holywell Hill, no check here as arrows direct the Hash over the lights 🚦 to the northwest to run on by an old flint & stone 🕚 Curfew tower, a nice scenic trot up through an old market place where there are a lot of black & white timber shops

3D Just making sure you are all following best practice!

The Trail leads to a Check on by a small wattle & dawb timbered Pub The Boot, something to do with the Iron Duke or is it just Cobblers 👢?  Your choices are the back passage by the Pub, straight on by more shops or westward down a side street? No Eye Deer says "A lot of back passages on this trail!" 3D adds "Ermmm!"

The Hare wasnít going up the back passage, not near the end of the Trail, so Flying Solo goes wrong & is turned back by a T, Fliptop is going to finish this Hash the way he started & goes wrong again, at least he drags the late arriving Zing-along-a-max down there with him! Zing-a-long-a-max declares "Damn. Finally caught up, only to go wrong!" 3D says she's In need of more clues!

Milf finds the Trail & The Pack are now coming to the end of the Trail, with a 🏃 🏃♀️run of 130 Yards up in to the wider open Market Place, which is still in use to this day (Though current guidelines have curtailed this)  Itís a simple way back, the Pack runs on up St Peter's Street in an area of mixture of old & newer shops 🏬🏪, crossing to the eastern side of the main road at a crossing 🚦 after some 100Yrds then another 100 yards to reach the end of the street at a roundabout.

Milf On on 🏃

Pebbledash would laugh at the name of one of the Pubs 🐓 The Cock on this Junction, as the Trail is marked to the east & the On Inn is found by a garden 🧱 🌼 🌼 🌼 with a low wall.

Ewok I have to leave you now Iím afraid.  On On my lovelies 😘

Where have you been Hashing today?

Fliptop St Albans?? Well Done Fliptop!

Clues were:

The Bed-Pan (Bedford to St Pancras) Line

Clarence Park (St Albans FC)

Snatchup Alley

Jolly Sailor

World War 2 Concrete Water Tanks from fire fighting

Bernardís Heath War of the Roses

The Beech Hyde Dyke (Ancient Britons Fortifications)

St Albans Parish WWI War Memorial

Romelands (George Tankerfield burnt at the Stake)

Ye Olde Fighting Cocks

St Albans Abbey/Cathedral

Verdun Chestnut & Vintry Gardens

The Curfew Tower (Cock Tower)

The Boot

St Albans Market

The Cock